Genre: New Adult, Contemporary Romance
Expected
date of release: December 2, 2013
I
know I will never get over her. Watching her walk away with him ripped my heart
out and left it bleeding on the floor. But I can’t hide anymore. I have to face
my life without her.
Brad has been in love with Lisa for
as long as he can remember. One night years ago they took each other’s
virginity but while it was the best night of Brad’s life, for Lisa it was a way
to forget about Bobby. Or was it?
Brad
re-emerges right when Lisa needs him most. Only Brad knows everything about her
and when Lisa’s insecurities come to the surface the shoulder Lisa needs is
Brad’s. Now Brad has to decide if he has it in him to trust his heart.
I walk through the door into the crowded house, looks like the gangs all here and then some. I look around and see all my friends but the person who sees me first is her mom, “Brad! So good to see you,” she hugs me, “Lisa will be so glad you’re here. She’s missed you.”
I don’t know what to say to that. I know that Lisa loves me like a brother but I want so much more with her, “I’ve missed her too.” It’s the truth, staying away has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I even took the boat over to Fire Island for a couple of weeks hiding out at my sister’s summer house. She was not happy about that until I started to fix the outside shower. Now she tells me I can use it anytime I want as long as I fix something each time I’m there. Her husband can’t fix shit, damn Ivy League pretty boy.
I turn back toward the party and suddenly Lisa is in my arms kissing my cheek and holding me tight, “Don’t do that again,” she tells me. “I missed you too much.” She is running her hands over my shoulders and through my hair and if I don’t get her off me soon she will know exactly how much I missed her.
I release her and put my hand in the pocket of my jacket, “Happy Birthday Lisa,” I pull out her gift and hand it to her. She smiles up at me but keeps her hand on my arm like she doesn’t want to let me go. Maybe she does feel more than friendship towards me. I look into her eyes and hope she can’t see how much I want her.
She looks down at the box in her hand then back up to me, “Do you want me to open this now?”
I want to see her reaction but I don’t want an audience, “No later, after the party.”
“Does that mean you will stay ‘til everyone leaves?” her smile widens.
“If you want me to,” I can’t say no to her, I never could.
Then he comes up behind her pulling her back to him and extending his hand to me, “Brad, good to see you.”
I know he is staking his claim but he doesn’t have to remind me that Lisa is not mine. I have known that for a long time, “Bobby,” I can’t bring myself to say more than his name. I really want to yell at him to get his hands off of her but he has every right to touch her. She is his.
Excerpt #2
Jodi turns me and propels me towards the sofa, sitting me
between John and her, “What is going on with you and Brad?”
I pull my knees into my chest and wrap my arms around them,
“That’s the question of the day. I don’t know. I suddenly feel more for him. My
body reacts to him now when he holds me that never happened before. And how can
it happen when I love Bobby?” I rock slightly back and forth.
“What did you tell Brad? Because he fluctuated between being
lit up like a kid on Christmas or one that lost his puppy and back again when
he left here before,” John tells me.
“I told him we could try and see where these new feelings
lead. But I also told him I would need to be truthful with Bobby and I couldn’t
do that today. So I guess Brad and I will be in a holding pattern until Bobby
comes back. I can’t move forward with Brad without talking to Bobby first.
That’s just not fair to Bobby.” I am so confused, while I’m with Bobby he is
what I need but then with Brad earlier I felt that way as well. What the fuck
is wrong with me, I finally get what I’ve wanted for most of my life and I am
throwing it away because I suddenly have feelings for my best friend? “I am royally fucking up my life aren’t I?”
John puts his hand on my shoulder, “I don’t think you are
fucking up. I think you’ve built this thing with Bobby up in your mind for so
long that you never allowed yourself to open up to anyone else. Now that you
are in it you are finally allowing yourself to see what else is out there.
That’s not wrong, maybe a little bit of bad timing but most people don’t live
in a bubble. They experience what life throws at them, you never did. Even the
relationships you had you held yourself back from them. That is why they didn’t
work.”
I lean my head against John’s shoulder, “So what you’re
telling me is I’ve been a superficial bitch for the last six years?”
He laughs, “Well I wouldn’t call you a bitch.”
“No just superficial.”
Jodi leans against my other side, “Look Lisa you had this
instant attraction to Bobby. You guys never ran your course because he left.
Then you shut down for a while. When you started dating Steve I thought you
were working your way out but it was more a convenience for you. You needed
someone to be with, to help keep your mind off Bobby and he fit the bill. But
you never let yourself feel anything for him. He was totally in love with you
and you had no clue. You couldn’t see it.”
I look at her incredulously, “He didn’t love me. We always
had a good time but he never once told me he loved me.”
“And if he had told you he loved you what would have been
your answer?” She shakes her head, “No don’t answer that. Steve knew you didn’t
love him and he protected himself the best he could. He never told you how he
felt so you couldn’t reject him.”
Was she right? I have to think back to that time. I always
thought we were just fooling around, he was safe. I knew I could never love him
and I figured he felt the same way. I never let myself think that he felt
anything more for me. That’s how my relationships worked. I was never in it for
the long haul, they were a way to pass the time and have some fun.
“I never knew,” What does that say about me? “That does make
me a bitch.”
“No it doesn’t.” Jodi says, “You were living your life and
protecting yourself the best way you knew how. We all knew what you were doing,
even Steve. Remember he was part of our crowd. He saw what Bobby leaving did to
you and in the beginning he was hopeful that the two of you could heal the hurt
together. Eventually he realized that you weren’t ready to let yourself feel
anything more than companionship with him and that’s when things started to
break.”
John turns to me, “He held out hope for a long time but
finally he needed more. He and I talked a lot while you were together and he
never felt that it was your fault. He always blamed Bobby for leaving the way
he did.”
I nod my head, taking in all they’ve said. I was more broken than I thought by Bobby. I
never realized that I wasn’t open to the guys I dated. That’s not exactly true.
I never felt the connection with them. I never told them about Bobby and what
happened, the only ones I would talk to about him were sitting on this sofa
with me, and Brad. But after that New Year’s Eve I shut Brad out too. Why?
“Can I ask you something we’ve never talked about?” Jodi
asks.
“Sure,” I turn towards her.
“When you and Brad were together after that party, were you
thinking about Bobby the whole time you were together?”
Her question surprises me, I’ve never really thought about
that night. It was something that happened and I always felt bad because I
thought I used Brad. I think back to that night in his room. When he first
kissed me I was picturing Bobby. Then at one point he stopped and looked into
my eyes, told me I was beautiful and then it wasn’t Bobby I was seeing anymore
it was Brad. I was reacting to him, he made my body feel cherished. It wasn’t
the all-consuming need I felt with Bobby, it was slower more potent. By the
time he entered me I wanted him, Brad.
That’s why I ran from him after that. I can see it now. I wasn’t ready
to open up, to feel. How could I forget that night?
“No, it wasn’t all about Bobby,” I answer Jodi’s question.
“At some point it was all about Brad and me. I loved him that night and I think
that’s why I ran from him. Why I couldn’t even talk to him after that. I was
scared because if I was too close to him I would have lost myself in him.” Jodi
nods like this is what she thought all along.
There's still time to read book one of the series:
Blurb:
At the age of seventeen,
Lisa was broken when Bobby left. He was supposed to be her first. First Love.
First Time. First Everything. No word for six long years. She moved away from
the painful reminders sacrificing her relationship with her best friend Brad.
She struggled to rebuild her life.
Now six years later she returns as a strong, successful woman grabbing a job at one of New York’s hottest marketing agencies. She is dating a gorgeous guy with his eyes on a corner office. But it all changes when she sees Bobby again.
Can she risk another heartbreak from Bobby? Will she be able to repair her friendship with Brad? Lisa will have to decide between the man she's with, and the two men that want her.
Who will she be with, and who will she tell to "Watch Me Walk Away?"
Now six years later she returns as a strong, successful woman grabbing a job at one of New York’s hottest marketing agencies. She is dating a gorgeous guy with his eyes on a corner office. But it all changes when she sees Bobby again.
Can she risk another heartbreak from Bobby? Will she be able to repair her friendship with Brad? Lisa will have to decide between the man she's with, and the two men that want her.
Who will she be with, and who will she tell to "Watch Me Walk Away?"
Excerpt:
I hear his car pull up and am out the
door like a bullet. I wave to Arthur in the front seat and the back door open
and he is here. I freeze and just look at him. God he looks good enough to eat.
He shuts the door and walks up to me and stops. I want to throw myself at him
and shove my tongue in his mouth.
“Hi, Beautiful.” He lifts his hand to
caress my cheek. “God you look good. I missed you.” And that’s it. I grab his
hair and pull him down for a kiss. We both groan when our mouths touch. His
arms go around me and he picks me up and holds me close. Our mouths open at the
same time and our tongues battle for dominance. All thought has left my mind I
just want to get closer to him. I wrap my legs around him and use my thighs to
push up so my mouth is above his. One of his arms goes under my ass to hold me
up. Both my hands are now in his hair my elbows resting on his arms. He nips on
my lower lip and I counter by sucking on his tongue. I press my core into his
abs and rub myself up and down. He groans against my mouth and squeezes my ass.
Finally I need to take a breath and pull away.
“Hi, Handsome,” I pant. I release the
pressure of my thighs a little so I am more eyelevel with him.
“Wow that was some welcome.” He smiles
at me. His hand is rubbing my ass sending shivers through my body.
One of my hands releases his hair and I
caress the five o’clock shadow on his cheek. “Well I missed you too.” I smile
back.
I kiss him again. I can’t stop. My whole
body feels like an electric current is running through it. My hands alternate
running from his neck down his back. He is all muscle and I feel his reaction
to me as his skin shivers as I go over it. His hand is on my neck holding our
mouths together as his tongue searches my mouth. His other hand is kneading my
ass almost between my legs. I want his fingers on me, in me. This time it’s him
who breaks the kiss and I moan as his lips move away. We look at each other
both breathing hard.
“You have two choices” he pants. I raise
my eyebrow in question. “Either we go inside or I have Arthur drive us back to
the city.”
As he is talking my hand moves from his
back up over his shoulder and is now unbuttoning the top of his polo shirt.
Just as he ends his ultimatum my hand moves against his skin between his pecks.
His eyes flare and his pupils are so dilated I can’t see any blue at all. It
makes my panties even wetter knowing that I’m affecting him like this. He grabs
my left leg to get me down and I surprise him with hooking my right leg between
his and using his body like a pole to slip down until I’m standing.
I haven’t answered him yet and he’s just
about to say something as I grab his hand and take a step back towards the
house. “We’ll go inside. But we’re going to have to be social for a few
minutes. We were watching a movie.”
He stops walking and releases my hand.
“You have to give me a minute if I have to be around other people.” He looks
down with a sheepish look in his eyes and my eyes follow his. I can see his
problem bulging out in the front of his pants and I give him a small giggle.
“Not funny” he growls. At that I break out into a huge laugh. He looks at me
like I’ve lost my head.
When I’ve calmed down enough to talk I
say, “So nothing’s changed since high school. How many times were we caught
together where I had to stand in front of you to block someone’s view?”
Now it’s his turn to laugh, “I guess
you’re right. But you’re not going to be cruel and wiggle your fine ass against
me while we stand there now are you?”
I give him an evil grin, “Now why would
I do that? It’s not like I enjoy torturing you.”
He rolls his eyes and grabs me. “God
I’ve missed you. No one else teases me or makes me laugh. And I have never
wanted to spank anyone else.” He whispers that last line into my ear and my
whole body quakes. “I will swat that sweet ass if you don’t behave.”
I look up at him and he is smiling like
a kid on Christmas morning. I have to admit it feels so natural this banter
with him. I’ve never been this relaxed and turned on at the same time with
anyone else. I have to smile back at him because I just feel happy. “I’ll be
good. I promise” and this time I mean it.
Watch for it on Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and Apple!
I
live in Northern New Jersey. I am a wife and mother of two girls.
I have been an avid reader my whole life, I cannot remember a Sunday afternoon that did not include my parents reading. We had a huge bookshelf in our den with a diverse set of authors like Ayn Rand, Stephen King, Mario Puzo & Danielle Steele.
I have always had ideas and characters running around my head but it took a few good friends to push me to start putting them down on paper.
I hope you enjoy my musings. Please feel free to contact me I would love to hear from you.
I have been an avid reader my whole life, I cannot remember a Sunday afternoon that did not include my parents reading. We had a huge bookshelf in our den with a diverse set of authors like Ayn Rand, Stephen King, Mario Puzo & Danielle Steele.
I have always had ideas and characters running around my head but it took a few good friends to push me to start putting them down on paper.
I hope you enjoy my musings. Please feel free to contact me I would love to hear from you.
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